I’m sure you’re aware that you are the bank with the most branches in this town. In fact, one of the main reasons I chose you was your ubiquity. I was sure, no matter where I was, you would be available to serve me.
So you can imagine my dismay when I realized that you, alone amongst the many banks lining the streets of my neighborhood, actually SHUT DOWN YOUR ATMs at the close of business on Friday. Let me rephrase this. At exactly the point when a human teller is no longer available, you pull steel shutters down over the machines capable of handling transactions without a teller, thus depriving me of access to my accounts. No other bank does this. In fact, other banks seem to understand that this is exactly when I might need to use an ATM.
It is Friday night. This is when I would like to spend the money I have so carefully saved all week. I’d like to grab a bite to eat, maybe hit a bar or two. But no. The businesses I’d like to patronize only take cash, and you do not dispense cash after dark. Not even via a machine.
So forget about that juicy burger I am hungry for. Forget about the bar I’ve been meaning to try, and the cute boys waiting there. Forget sharing a drink, a smile, in fact forget any kind of action whatsoever. Fuck you, Wells Fargo. I hope you never get laid again.
Lonely hungry movie-watching girl